I Made My Status Known as a B!tch – Nigerian Woman Reveals How She Stayed True to Herself with Her In-Laws

 

A Nigerian woman, Blessing McColumbus, who has been married for over 20 years, has shared a powerful message about staying true to herself and not lowering her standards just to be accepted by her husband or his family.

In a viral Facebook post, the UK-based nurse and mother of two revealed that when she got married, she did so with a rebellious spirit. She made it clear that she would not tolerate any disrespect simply because she was marrying their son.

Blessing explained that when she first met her husband, she didn’t take on traditional roles like cleaning his house, washing his clothes, or visiting her in-laws to “earn” their approval. Instead, she stayed true to her values.

She wrote:
“I did not get married as a desperate woman who didn’t have other options. I even left my rent unpaid for a long time before I finally stopped it. I was still prepared to rent another place if it came to that."

“I’m saying it again—I didn’t get married because I thought marriage was my final destination, or because I couldn’t live without it.”

Blessing went on to explain that she married with clear boundaries and expectations for her future. She wasn’t afraid to voice her needs and made it clear to her husband that if he behaved like her father or any other man who disrespects women, she would not hesitate to leave. She wanted to be treated with respect, and she had no tolerance for abuse.

“I didn’t go cleaning his house or washing his clothes to be accepted.”
“I didn’t go to the market with my own money to buy groceries for him to prove myself.”

Blessing made it clear she wasn’t interested in lowering her standards just to fit in. She continued:
“I didn’t condition myself to get married to him. We found each other, we courted, and we married as mature adults, with mutual respect, trust, understanding, and love.”

She added that when visiting her in-laws, she didn’t play the role of a servant. She didn’t try to impress them by acting as their “superwoman” or “labourer,” doing everything while they relaxed.

Instead, she showed up confidently, with her personality speaking for itself:
“I arrived before my in-laws, with a colored hairstyle, a free-spirited top, and shorts. My presence was enough to let them know I wasn’t there to be looked down upon.”

Blessing made it clear that she was there for love, respect, and equality. She would treat anyone with love and respect, but she wouldn’t tolerate shallow behavior or belittlement.

“I raised my bar so high and left it there, where it stays.”

She cautioned other women not to settle for less in their relationships, saying:
“If you choose to become a doormat, dry cleaner, charity worker, and servant to your husband and his family, they will lower your standards and crush you. You’ll end up struggling as a single mother, with nothing to show for it.”

She expressed frustration with women who, in her view, lower their standards just to have the title of “Mrs.” She repeated:
“The way you carry yourself is the way your husband and his family will respect or disrespect you.”

Today, Blessing celebrates over two decades of marriage, still loving and respecting each other more than before. She concluded by saying:
“Slaving for a man and his people doesn’t make you a better woman—it makes you a slave. That’s why even those who are beneath you can mistreat you.”

Her message is clear: don’t lower your standards for anyone, and demand the respect you deserve in your relationships.