Ohio Woman Breaks Silence on 44 Years of Family Abuse: “You Don’t Just Get Over It”
In a powerful and heartbreaking account, a woman from Ohio has opened up about surviving over four decades of abuse at the hands of her own family—a lifetime of trauma that still haunts her well into her 60s. Her story, first shared publicly in a New York Times "Dear Abby" article, reveals the devastating emotional and psychological toll that childhood abuse can leave behind, especially when it is minimized or ignored by those closest to the survivor.
This deeply moving narrative has sparked important conversations about mental health, childhood trauma, and the societal pressure on survivors to “move on” from their pain—especially when the abuser has passed away. In this article, NaijaRush takes a closer look at her journey, the impact of long-term trauma, and why telling survivors to "just let it go" can do more harm than good.
A Life Shaped by Trauma: Abuse That Began Before She Could Walk
The woman, whose name is withheld for privacy, is now in her early 60s. She has been under consistent psychiatric care for years, dealing with the lingering effects of what she describes as "44 years of abuse." She has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and borderline personality disorder—mental health conditions her doctors directly attribute to the severe abuse she endured from early childhood through adulthood.
“According to my doctors, my psychiatric disorders are a result of the 44 years of abuse I received from my mother, as well as the abuse she allowed others to inflict on me.”
Her story is a grim reminder of the way early trauma can shape a person’s entire life. Experts in childhood trauma, such as those at the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN), explain that abuse from caregivers—especially when it starts in infancy—can disrupt a child's ability to form healthy relationships, trust others, and manage emotions. This type of trauma is often referred to as complex PTSD, which results from prolonged and repeated abuse rather than a single traumatic event.
Physical and Sexual Abuse: A Household of Fear
According to the woman’s own testimony, the abuse she endured began at an age so young that she cannot even remember life before the trauma. She claims that her mother was not only physically abusive, but also complicit in her sexual abuse at the hands of others—including her own son, the woman’s brother.
“The sexual abuse had stopped when I was 12, and I realized she’d known what had been happening the whole time.”
It wasn’t until she turned 17 that she physically fought back, finally bringing an end to the physical abuse. A year later, she made it clear to her brother that any further violence would result in legal consequences.
“Her physical abuse stopped when I fought back at 17. When I was 18, it was the last time her precious prince of a son raised his fist to me because I told him I’d press charges and have him arrested.”
Even though the physical assaults stopped, the emotional abuse continued unabated for decades.
“She’s Dead. Get Over It”: The Pain of Being Dismissed by Loved Ones
Her mother passed away in 2013, but the emotional scars remain as vivid as ever. What adds salt to these wounds, however, is the lack of empathy she receives from her remaining family—and even her own children.
“I am being told that, because she’s dead, I should just let it go. My siblings backed her because they wanted to be in Mommy’s good graces.”
“After years of hatred and abuse, I believed the only family I had were my own two children, but even they are cold to me now. They scold me — ‘Your mother’s dead. Get over it.’”
These kinds of responses are unfortunately not uncommon. Many abuse survivors report being pressured to reconcile with their abusers or to simply move on once the perpetrator has died. However, as mental health professionals frequently emphasize, healing from trauma is not a matter of flipping a switch. It is a long, personal journey that often requires years of therapy and support.
“How do I explain that when abuse starts before a child can walk, you don’t just ‘get over it’?”
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Abuse
Studies have shown that childhood trauma can permanently alter brain development, particularly in areas that control emotional regulation, memory, and stress response. Survivors are at greater risk for a wide range of mental and physical health conditions, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance abuse, and even chronic illnesses such as diabetes and heart disease.
Mental health experts confirm that the effects are often most severe when the abuse begins early in life and is inflicted by caregivers—those who are supposed to provide love and safety.
According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, this kind of betrayal trauma can affect how a person forms attachments and sees themselves and the world. In the Ohio woman’s case, the betrayal was not just in the abuse itself, but in the way her mother knowingly allowed it to happen—and in how her family and children now minimize her pain.
The Importance of Believing Survivors
One of the most harmful things society can do to trauma survivors is to silence them. When people are told to "move on" or "stop living in the past," it invalidates their experiences and reinforces the very powerlessness they felt during the abuse.
For survivors like the Ohio woman, sharing their stories can be a powerful act of reclaiming their voice and asserting their right to be heard and believed.
“I see a psychiatrist and psychologist for generalized anxiety disorder, major depression disorder and borderline personality disorder.”
“It also ended my wanting a relationship with my mother, but her emotional abuse continued until she died in 2013.”
Despite the emotional pain and rejection, she continues to attend therapy and work on her healing—determined to live her life on her own terms.
Moving Forward: Healing at Your Own Pace
At NaijaRush, we believe in amplifying the voices of survivors and challenging the toxic mindset that healing must follow a timeline set by others. Abuse does not end with the abuser’s death. The wounds remain, and every survivor deserves the time and space to heal in a way that feels right for them.
To those who have endured similar experiences, this woman’s story is a call to action: seek help, share your truth, and surround yourself with people who validate your pain instead of dismissing it.
You are not alone. And no one has the right to tell you how long it should take to heal.
If this story resonates with you, please share it. You never know who might be silently suffering—and your voice could be the one that helps them feel seen.Do you have a personal story to share? NaijaRush is committed to giving survivors a safe space to be heard. Reach out to us.
